Beaverton, Oregon–NIKE calls on unlikely mascot
In an unprecedented move, NIKE executives announce the choice pick for their 30th Anniversary.
It’s the “JUST DO IT—GO AHEAD AND MAKE MY DAY” Campaign.
CEO, Asleep Atthewheel, said that they just could not come together at first.
“We looked at 9/11 Firemen, and a Navy Seal or two. They were simply too patriotic and besides, they weren’t wearing NIKE shoes at the time of their heroics.
Then we thought, ‘What’s the best way to shoot this company in the heart? We will post Colin Kaepernick as our champion!
Then, call in Clint Eastwood to represent the most of America who knows the difference between corporate greed, leftist ideologies, true patriotism and children in football uniforms, attempting to hold America hostage, called the NFL.’”
Boardroom strategy at its finest.