Catsup Dispenser and the Nation’s Debt

The Neverwurks Corporation, manufacturer of the Neverwurks catsup dispenser, has been awarded the government contract to correct, reverse, and eliminate the 20+ Trillion dollars of USA National Debt.

The Classic Neverwurks dispenser

They have until 2060 at which time, if not successful, the Democratic party (if the Republicans are still in office) or the Republican party, (if the Democrats are still in office) will pitch a pretend hissy fit, belittling the opposing party and promising results to the American people.


McDonalds, Burger King, Arbys, Zaxby’s, Wendys and Whataburger, meanwhile, will still be handing out tiny packets of catsup (limit 2 per customer—good for 4 fries) while their Neverwurks dispenser is in for perpetual repair.


Senator Bernie Sanders responded to our question, “Have you ever gotten catsup out of one of these dispensers?” He responded, “In my socialist republic, people will be making their own catsup and these overpaid CEO grubbers will be out of a job.”


President Trump willingly admitted that his servants had never needed catsup dispensers and that Neverwurks Corporation “rented building space from him, so they couldn’t be all bad.”


Supporters of Hillary Clinton were busy preparing her bid for the 20/20 Presidential campaign. Hillary commented, “hind-sight is 20/20 and I’ll have plenty of it.”


The Neverwurks Corporation spokesman, Broken Allthetime, opined,

“You can count on us to be at least as reliable as our nations professional politicians in the House and Senate. We call on the President and Congress to limit spending while increasing taxes on the American Citizens earning less than our part-time employees.

We pledge to have this debt under control by sometime in 2059 if all goes as planned. You have our Neverwurks pledge and promise on that.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s