St. Louis MO– Lifeway Publishing, a Southern Baptist resource division, recently closed its brick and mortar stores because of slumping sales. Today, however, Lifeway has discovered a new hope and it is all an apparent gift from Robert Mueller and his Russian Collusion investigation of the President and his party.
Forwarded by Adam Schiff as:
“The most needed Christian devotional book of the century—It changed my life”.
Other glowing remarks include Senator Kamala Harris who states, “Now I’m a Believer!”
Beto O’Rourke has vowed to use it daily until he is elected President and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi plans to have all Junior Senators use the devotional in preparations for the upcoming AOC New Green Deal Summit in Zurich Switzerland.
Justice Barr is assuring potential readers that none of the devotional is redacted or abrogated and that every word is true to all existing original Russian manuscripts. That comment prompted Franklin Graham to suggest that it be added to the biblical cannon making for 67 books of the bible.
Evangelicals are quite excited about the forthcoming devotional guide and assure America that they will fight for the right to have it in our public schools within three years or Trumps reelection, whichever comes first.
Lifeway has secured the President for a book signing tour to begin in August of this year. They want to encourage all Americans to bring their personal bibles to be autographed by the president as their gift when you purchase 3 or more Robert Mueller Devotional’s—“A Guide to Meaningful Collusion”.
And they remind everyone:
Books Not Sold in Stores other than Lifeway. Order now to avoid delay!
At the time of this writing, former President Barack Obama had decided to place his own personal copy in the new Presidential Athletic Center on the South side of Chicago next to the other 135 books in the extensive library.
openhandspublications.com 