IF upper level management did to football what Church Leaders have done to corporate, public worship services:

Field would be reduced to 75 yards thus reducing hardship

Goal Posts placed on the sidelines to attract more fans by being Contemporary and Relevant

Cheerleaders are placed on the field with the players to enhance attraction and maintain proper enthusiasm

Cheerleaders and ball players switch places during the game to promote gender-fairness and equal status

Cheerleaders and football players would wear same outfits to avoid stereotyping, gender prejudice an deliberate hateful, caustic, uncaring, insensitive, intentional abuse of the transgender

HUGE SAVINGS as one restroom and showers fits all

Rule Book edited, removing most offenses and penalties to enhance experience— avoiding offending the players or the adoring fans (to assure they and their money come back again)

Officials become “Affirmation Crew” who give out football-shaped candy to remain community-friendly with everyone (to assure they and their money come back again)

Head coach tells laced-with-emotion football stories while dressed in tight T-shirt and skinny jeans for the ladies (and guys?)  (to assure they and their money come back again)

The football itself would become a virtual, fluid, optional ideology that fans and players alike can manipulate to their desired outcomes

Guests (“seekers”) will receive free parking, one cup of designer coffee, a stale doughnut, many stares, autographs from the Praise-Me-Band and a hearty invitation to return for more (to assure they and their money come back again)

ALL FANS will enjoy a like it or not time for greeting—a warm smile and a handshake with their neighbor

Light shows and fog machines will add to the experience and add value to the experience so that people can experience more and feel better about themselves and their experiences

During the actual football game, lights will be turned off and a solo light will follow the quarterback as minions follow and revere

The Marching Band is replaced by a much smaller band made up of older people who never made the band but always wanted to play

All the fans will “Stand for the Band” as they play solo songs written too high and rhythmically challenging to sing and too schmaltzy for anyone to enjoy but the kids under the bleachers. This will go on and on for 45 minutes. (to assure they and their money will not come back again)

Songs over three years old, compiled in a book, that actually create participation, good will, understanding and support for all or that has anything at all to do with football will be replaced by the latest “HIT” receiving a Dove Award and filling the coffers of the Retail-Jesus movement (CCM) (Hillsong)

The actual football game will last no more than 15 minutes unless the home team is considered kinder and more virtuous or the quarterback isn’t quite done with his storytime

PLAYERS NO LONGER WEAR HELMETS. Harsh contact is not allowed. Confrontation with moral and spiritual dilemmas (sin) is a bygone unnecessary guilt trip as sin and evil are virtually eradicated virtually by education, good-will, enforced pandering and frequent handwashing

NO MORE WINNERS AND LOSERS. The scoreboard is converted into a gaming system for Super Smash Bros.

All players shall be told how good they are, and each will receive a participation award regardless of their personal effort, developed skills, devotion to cause or team spirit

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT REQUIREMENT (assure everyone and their money come back again)

2 comments

  1. HEY,GLENN. TI’S REX FROM SOUTHERN UTAH. THAT ANALOGY WITH CORPORATE AMERICA SETTING THE STAGE FOR FOOTBALL WAS A TOTAL HOOT. NICE COMPARISONS. I WAS AT MY COMPUTER WORKING ON SOME STUFF THAT I THOUGHT TO SHARE WITH YOU. FEEL FREE TO USE OR ABUSE IT.
    TO WIT:

    UNDOING FEARS

    IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ALL THE IMPORTANT DECISIONS IN LIFE ENTAIL RISK. DECISIONS LIKE GETTING MARRIED, GETTING DIVORCED, CHANGING JOBS, KEEPING THE SAME JOB, HAVING ANOTHER CHILD, HIKING IN ALASKA, RETIREMENT INVESTMENTS, DOWN HILL SKIING, DRIVING IN THE 5 O’CLOCK TRAFFIC, BUYING A USED CAR, ETC. BUT ONE OF THE GREATEST FEARS, IS THE FEAR OF BEING INCREASINGLY HONEST. RISK USUALLY PROMOTES FEAR OF UNPREDICTABLE OUT-COMES.

    PARADOXICALLY, FEAR IS RARELY UNDONE WITHOUT GOING BACK TO THE FEAR PRODUCING SCENE. A PERSON AFRAID OF WATER GENERALLY STAYS OUT OF THE WATER. THUS, THE FEAR REMAINS UNCHANGED. TO HAVE ANY HOPE OF CHANGING A FEAR, ONE MUST ENTER THE WATER AND TRY DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT. IF DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT WORKS, THE FEAR MAY BE REDUCED TO A MERE SENSE OF CAUTION AND REPLACED WITH ENJOYMENT, LIKE SWIMMING.

    MANY OF OUR FEARS WERE LEARNED DURING OUR CHILDHOOD YEARS. LATER, SOME WERE LEARNED DURING A DIVORCE, A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT, OR ANY NUMBER OF UNPREDICTABLE EVENTS. FEARS CAN SIMPLY ACCUMULATE AS WE TRAVEL DOWN THE ROAD OF LIFE. BUT INCREASING FEARS ALSO PRODUCES INCREASING SELF-ISOLATION, AND SELF-ISOLATION FROM THE FEAR PRODUCING CIRCUMSTANCE MEANS LESS LEARNING ABOUT WHAT WE COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY.

    AND SO IT WHEN SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TRIGGERS RESENTMENT. TO AVOID THAT RESENTMENT-TRIGGERING PERSON OR SITUATION WE MAY SELF-ISOLATION FROM THEM. THIS IS A VERY QUICK, EASY AND ECONOMICAL WAY TO AVOID MY OWN RESENTMENTS. HOWEVER, IT DOES REQUIRE MORE AND MORE SELF-ISOLATION TO RETAIN THAT ESCAPE. AS WELL, IT’S LIKE THAT PERSON WHO IS AFRAID OF WATER. THEIR SENSE OF INNER PEACE DEPENDS ON AVOIDING IT. NOTHING NEW CAN BE LEARNED TO UNDO THE FEAR OF WATER. ONE HAS TO GET INTO IT AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THIS IS WHY WE ASK GOD FOR A REPLACEMENT, THEN PRACTICE IT.”

    A QUICK, BUT REAL EXAMPLE: I HADN’T RIDDEN A DIRT MOTORCYCLE ON TRAILS AND HILLS AND GULLIES, AND STREAMS AND SAND DUNES FOR 30 YEARS. MY FRIEND REALLY DID ENJOY DIRT RIDING. SO ONE DAY WE WENT LOOKING FOR A GOOD DIRT BIKE FOR ME. THEN CAME THAT FIRST EFFORT TO RIDE IT IN THE UTAH DESERT HILLS WITH TWO VERY GOOD RIDERS TO SET THE PACE FOR ME. MUCH FEAR AND MANY FALLS WERE MY FIRST EXPERIENCE. I REMEMBER FEELING LIKE AN OLD FAT WOMAN WHO WAS TOTALLY UNSUITED FOR THIS SPORT.

    THERE WERE MANY FALLS, SOME PAINFULLY MEMORABLE. ONCE I HAD FALLEN IN A LOW GULLY OF DEEP SAND, MY RIGHT LEG WAS TRAPPED, GAS WAS LEAKING OUT OF THE GAS TANK ONLY INCHES ABOVE THE HOT EXHAUST PIPE WHICH BY THE WAY WAS LAYING ON MY RIGHT LEG. ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN, MY PAIN WAS A NINE. I THOUGHT MY LEG WAS POSSIBLY BROKEN. MY TWO FRIENDS HAD THOUGHT I WAS RIDING SLOWER, BEHIND THEM. ALL I COULD MANAGE WAS TO RAISE MY LEFT ARM AND YELL FOR HELP. EXTREMELY GRATEFUL, MY TWO FRIENDS BACK-TRACKED AND LIFTED THE BIKE OFF ME. MOST OF THE TIME MY FALLS WERE MORE FUNNY THAN PAINFUL. BUT THERE WERE A FEW THAT REALLY SCARED ME. LATER, I WOULD STUDY WHY I HAD FALLEN, LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS TO EACH FALL-DOWN EXPERIENCE. I BEGAN TO STUDY U-TUBE VIDEOS BY MEN WHO HAD MORE EXPERIENCE, THEN “PRACTICE THESE PRINCIPLES” ON THE TRAIL…OR IN THE FEAR ZONE. I SUGGEST THAT NO ONE EVER LEARNS ANYTHING DIFFICULT WITHOUT MUCH PRACTICE, FROM LEARNING TO RIDE THAT FIRST BICYCLE TO PLAYING THE PIANO.

    AFTER 3 OR 4 YEARS I BEGAN TO ENJOY RIDING IN THE DIRT. BUT I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE PROCESS OF RE-ENTERING THE FEAR ZONE, TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, AND LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES. FAILURE CAN BE STEPPING STONES FOR LEARNING, NOT STUMBLING BLOCKS FOR SELF-PITY. PERFECTIONISM CAN BE A KILLER OF PROGRESS.

    THE TIME-TABLE ALSO NEEDS TO BE UNDERSTOOD. BY NATURE, I’M A SLOW LEARNER. TO EXPECT CHANGE TO COME QUICK AND EASY FOR SELF AND OTHERS IS A FALSE “EXPECTATION”. I RECALL EARLIER IN LIFE SAYING TO MYSELF THAT IT “TAKES ABOUT 10 TIMES LONGER, THAN I EXPECT.” REALITY ALWAYS WINS IN THE LONG RUN.

    Like

    1. Hey there Motocross Madman! Check out the post. Thank you so much for the wisdom and allowing me to share it. Please do this as much as you like. Your posts get much better response than anything I write. What else are you up to these days. We are all fine over here. Think of you often my friend and speak of you too! You are dearly missed. Glenn

      Like

Leave a Reply to Rex Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s