Advantage Coke



Advantage Coke  Glenn Harrell  08-17


NOTICE: Coca Cola sports its newest video with political twist. The Pool Boy and family of three.

WARNING: Rated PG (Pernicious and Ghastly)

Parents, please Guide your children to drink more Coke and I hope this video helps them to become upstanding citizens.


Coke management produces an equivocating video for use in Italy. They would have premiered this in the US market except that America still has too many bible thumping bigots who are the antithesis of the new moral agenda fleshing itself out in these United States and around the world. Coke joins with profitable moral agendas where necessary. What they know is that their sales, already slipping to the healthier drinks, would suffer even more. For the moment, there are still too many religious buffoons drinking their beverages. Someone else described them as, “A basket of deplorables”.


Not so in Italy. The Christian church went down for the count many years ago. Now, given that You Tube is, emmmm, world-wide, all that is missing is the English language. What is not missing is the in your face message from the Coke Team—“WE NEED SALES, and we will show our true colors to get them.”


In true hedonistic fashion, this Coca Cola video brandishes its conscious-less support for all things IDEP— “inclusive, diverse, equal and progressive”. (Did I mention greed?) These are the little watch-words that have such huge implication (litmus) for the Pool Boy and the family of three. (note Dad is missing. I feel another gushy Disney movie coming on)


This pitiful attempt to feign care and concern for the LBGTQ populace through hoisting the Pool Boy up to the titillations of the unsuspecting will be seen for what it is by anyone who understands P&L spreadsheets. The rest of us will bask in the glow of how very much in-touch a bottle of flavored sugar water can be with the pain and suffering associated with being IDEP or LGBTQ, whichever comes first. A truly compassionate drink, this Coke is. But can it work miracles?


Who knows, maybe drinking Coke can cure us of the hatred, bigotry, prejudice and the many phobias created by such a bigoted bible and those who would dare to continue to believe its hateful and demeaning words? Just you hold on Mr. Coke. Be a bit more patient, and you can produce videos much more “Inclusive” than the Italian Stud Pool Boy.

And you can publish them here in the US till your cup-o-coke runneth over.


Here in the US, biblical Christian theology has all but digressed. The Catholics have capitulated. Other groups who name Jesus Christ somewhere in their title are weakening. Yet, our Muslim population is growing. This could prove to be a real issue. Enough Muslims who stop drinking Coke over an Ad that keeps one friendly with the thirsts of the LBGQT will rush any management team to that all wise crystal ball. Which group has the potential for greater profits? Just whose thirst might you quench first? If your ads are clever and shaming enough, perhaps the Muslims will shed their boorish Qur’anic teachings, burqas and all, as they join in IDEP celebrations within their Mosques. (Ice-chests full of Coke for all)


In any respect Mr. & Ms. Coke, you are to be admired for just how far, and patiently so, a company will go to stay alive and keep its shareholders happy. I can only imagine the panic and quandary as you decide how to balance politics and profits just like the rest of us. Using and abusing morality, not to mention lives of innocence, to move your numbers upward is positively brilliant. (though not original) You deceive and indoctrinate our children so effectively as you make deviant sexuality appear harmless, sugary and even nice. Congratulations. Bravo Coke! Spero puoi dormire da note.


For the time being it is ADVANTAGE COKE.


Now, please excuse me, I need to go and pour me a tall, refreshing glass of Pepsi and celebrate Bruce Jenner’s foray into freedom. At least that is what I am told I must do.


I implore each of us to drink more Pepsi and Coke that we might rid the world of police brutality, racism, gayphobia, Islamophobia, Springer re-runs, planter fasciitis, and the like. All this sugar is bound to overpower the bitterness in each of us. (Not to mention keeping stocks and diabetes high) Come on people, we can do this!

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