My Dream Family Reunion

Everybody has been to at least one family reunion I hope. It is there that we realize just how slow and creepy evolution is. Each year we become more and more certain that we may well have found “the missing link”, and it is within our family. We get all worried about the population explosion. As a solution,

I suggest having more family reunions. This can often serve to reduce childbirth and thus relieve some of the angst we feel.  

I have a recurring family reunion nightmare as of late.

Uncle Donald rolls in, or flies in as he chooses. He is the rich uncle that hands out a shiny silver dollar to all the children and an autographed picture of himself to all the adults. He makes a big splash of an entrance, let’s some words fly that may or may not make any sense at all. Everyone screams with joy and he moves on to crash someone else’s reunion before anyone can get too close to him. They would discover that, apart from all the money, there may not be much of substance. He tells us that he, and only he, can fix us all, but offers no solutions for himself and seems to accept no help.

Then Aunt Hillary is spotted over in a dark corner doing something with a cousin who is very good at undercover technology. She politics money from all the hard working, wealthy folks in the family (except herself) and gives it to many of the poorer members. Not just the legitimate hardships, but also the ones who refuse to work. And somehow they vote for her every time. This is a great way to put an end to all future reunions and ironically, a great way to ruin a nation of democracy that requires a dominance of people with deep character and ethics for its survival.


In my dream Reunion, I am hanging out with the brothers of Aunt Hillary and Uncle Donald.

You know, Timmy and Mikey. On their worst day they appear as men of honesty, integrity, smarts, ethics, tactfulness, trustworthiness…you know, all the things that their older brother and sister struggle with on their best day. It turns out that Donald and Hillary want to hang with (use?)Timmy and Mikey to make up for their own glaring deficiencies.

Why, Timmy and Mikey even appear to be Presidential, in spite of their brother and sister. If we were to have a family vote for Reunion President and Vice President, I’ll take Mikey and Timmy. All of our family holds their nose with Aunt Hillary and Uncle Donald but Timmy and Mikey together secure 100% of our votes.

No matter who wins, at least there is a Vice President present who has something going on beyond the surreal. I know the VP has little power but he does have influence, and should Airforce One get hijacked again and Harrison Ford is not around, then we at least have a stable presidential option.


Imagine a family reunion that lasts for 90 days! This is what we are in for people. Closets, skeletons, bribery, sleight of hand, media twisting’s, lies and more lies. Add some legal prey at the old homestead who laps it all up and we have a solid reunion. If you are bored, just be patient. Guaranteed fireworks are ahead. All to insure that dream family reunion.

No matter how good Clinton and Trump get at making us reject them, (and they are consummate professionals) it looks like our country will split nearly down the middle again. And no matter how hard the media tries to be professional and impartial, their publishers and editors will likely continue to manipulate their product in favor of their personal pick. No matter who wins, half of our country will be disappointed to the point of depression and the other elated to ecstasy. Then its four more years of Clinton or Trump, Fox vs. MSNBC — O’ Reilly vs. Colbert. How fun can that be? Dream on…

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